A Tidy Sum

When Tracey did not make her bed
She made it an artwork instead
At 16 years old
It’s once more been sold
So Saatchi has made lots of bread.///
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Bubble Trouble

A rugby pro playing in Sydney/
Drank urine he made in his kidney/
Got literally pissed/
And so was dismissed/
He cocked up his future there didney.
///http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/jun/30/todd-carney-shattered-posting-photo-urinating-mouth
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Can You Tell What He Is Yet?

Rolf Harris, who’s quick on the draw/
Has now fallen foul of the law/
A court found the jester/
To be a molester/
Possessed of a wandering paw.///
 
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Sad Face :-(

Old Facebook provoked a commotion/
By doctoring news feed promotion/
To post stuff that’s sad/
And make us feel bad/
Then monitor user emotion.
///http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/06/29/trickcyclists_mess_with_facebook_users_emotions/
 
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Big Daddy Baghdadi

The fellow they call El-Baghdadi/

A top fundamentalist baddy/

Said “I am the Caliph/

And you’re not my pal if/

You won’t come and be a Jihadi”.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/isis-declares-new-islamic-state-in-middle-east-with-abu-bakr-albaghdadi-as-emir-removing-iraq-and-syria-from-its-name-9571374.html

 

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Snack Attack – The Assassination of Franz Ferdinand

To mark the centenary of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo, here is my limerick on the event from There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks. 

Three shots outside Schiller’s Food Store

And Franz Ferdinand was no more

But was there a sandwich

Clutched tight in the hand which

Had triggered an all-out world war?

///

The short answer to my question would seem to be no. A slightly longer answer can be found in the relevant chapter.

There are some links on my Book News page to various places you can buy the book: https://twitmericks.com/book-news/

Or I guess you can just google Gavrilo Princip sandwich!

 

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They Booze, You Lose

The summit has settled on Juncker/

As Cameron took to his bunker/

We all knew he’d lose/

And as for the booze/

Apparently Churchill was drunker.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-28049375

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What Big Teeth You Have, Grandma

According to Suarez’s gran/
The way FIFA gave him a ban/
Was how one might treat/
A dog on the street/
(Quite apt, as he’d bitten a man).///
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A Shit Limerick

Some ancient Neanderthal poo/

Extends what we hitherto knew/

The hominid species,/

We learn from its faeces,/

Ate meat, but had vegetables too.///

 

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Smooth Criminal

There was an old fellow named Dave/
Who hired a phone-hacking knave./
He’s now been convicted/
As many predicted/
When Cameron dug his own grave.
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27998411
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