Water Stupid Decision

When some in a council debate/

Won out in their bid to frustrate/

All action in Venice/

On climate change menace,/

Their room met a watery fate.///

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/venice-council-chambers-flood-moments-after-rejecting-climate-change-amendments_us_5dcddcb1e4b01f982efef03b?ri18n=true

the tweet on twitter

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Onan the Barbarian

Old Johnson loves pulling a flanker,/

Attacking his foes with some rancour,/

But since to withdraw/

Was Onan’s true flaw*,/

It’s unclear who here is the wanker.///

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/boris-johnson-onanism-jeremy-corbyn-brexit-speech-election-tories_uk_5dcaf96de4b0eb9121299377?utm_hp_ref=uk-politics

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan

the tweet

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Living on air

For fans of a sugary roll,/

With weight they would like to control,/

A doughnut’s the thing,/

Which has in its ring/

A calorie-free central hole.///

https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/greggs-to-encourage-healthy-eating-by-offering-diet-doughnuts-with-a-hole-920674

donut tweet

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His Master’s Voice

The Brexiteer Farage will dump/

His promise to go on the stump/

In Tory-held seats,/

A climbdown that meets/

The wish of his boss, Donald Trump.///

on twitter

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Crude Soil

A chain store is turning to muck/

Because it thinks fossil fuels suck,/

The folks at John Lewis/

Concluding cow poo is/

The clean way to power a truck.///

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Launching into Trouble

Welsh minister Cairns has to quit,/

Rees-Mogg is an upper-class twit,/

Whom Bridgen admires,/

A fake ad backfires,/

And Johnson spouts microwaved shit.///

On Twitter

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Uncommonly Senseless

Old Jacob Rees-Mogg gave offence/

At victims of Grenfell’s expense/

With comments so crass/

It’s plain that the ass/

Entirely lacks common sense!///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-50302573

link to tweet version

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Make Poor People History

A Tory who’s standing in Gower/

Said ‘Benefits Street? What a shower -/

They should be put down!’,/

Which gained her renown,/

But won’t make HQ disallow ‘er.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-50283520

twitter link

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Flying Solo

An albatross seeking a mate/

Endured an extremely long wait,/

For Rob was a bird,/

Researchers averred,/

Whose singing just wasn’t that great.///

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/oct/31/amused-us-for-years-hope-floats-as-rob-the-unappealing-albatross-finds-a-mate

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Ashes to Hashish

A teenager wanted to bake/

Her friends a nice cannabis cake;/

Alas it was fed/

To mourners instead,/

Who had a high time at the wake.///

 

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