When some in a council debate/
Won out in their bid to frustrate/
All action in Venice/
On climate change menace,/
Their room met a watery fate.///
When some in a council debate/
Won out in their bid to frustrate/
All action in Venice/
On climate change menace,/
Their room met a watery fate.///
Old Johnson loves pulling a flanker,/
Attacking his foes with some rancour,/
But since to withdraw/
Was Onan’s true flaw*,/
It’s unclear who here is the wanker.///
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan
For fans of a sugary roll,/
With weight they would like to control,/
A doughnut’s the thing,/
Which has in its ring/
A calorie-free central hole.///
The Brexiteer Farage will dump/
His promise to go on the stump/
In Tory-held seats,/
A climbdown that meets/
The wish of his boss, Donald Trump.///
A chain store is turning to muck/
Because it thinks fossil fuels suck,/
The folks at John Lewis/
Concluding cow poo is/
The clean way to power a truck.///
Welsh minister Cairns has to quit,/
Rees-Mogg is an upper-class twit,/
Whom Bridgen admires,/
A fake ad backfires,/
And Johnson spouts microwaved shit.///
Old Jacob Rees-Mogg gave offence/
At victims of Grenfell’s expense/
With comments so crass/
It’s plain that the ass/
Entirely lacks common sense!///
A Tory who’s standing in Gower/
Said ‘Benefits Street? What a shower -/
They should be put down!’,/
Which gained her renown,/
But won’t make HQ disallow ‘er.///
An albatross seeking a mate/
Endured an extremely long wait,/
For Rob was a bird,/
Researchers averred,/
Whose singing just wasn’t that great.///
A teenager wanted to bake/
Her friends a nice cannabis cake;/
Alas it was fed/
To mourners instead,/
Who had a high time at the wake.///