Christmas stuffing

Posted on December 9, 2018 by twitmericks

A mum buying stuff for nativity/
Was thrown by the school’s negativity -/
To her it was news/
Inflatable ewes/
Are some people’s sexual proclivity.///

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AKA AKK

Posted on December 7, 2018 by twitmericks

Ms Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer/

Whom Merkel’s been grooming for power/

Is now to succeed ‘er/

As CDU leader,/

And after that? Cometh the hour…///

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Eels in seals

Posted on December 7, 2018 by twitmericks

A hungry Hawaiian monk seal/

Was rather annoyed by an eel/

Which got up its nose,/

Researchers suppose,/

To get out of being its meal.///

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Shrinky-winky

Posted on December 6, 2018 by twitmericks

The substance behind the neat trick/

Of making a saucepan non-stick/

Was recently tested,/

And when it’s ingested,/

Reduces the size of one’s dick.///

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Hugger mugger

Posted on December 6, 2018 by twitmericks

A fashion world mover and shaker/

Coerced female staff at Ted Baker/

With forcible hugs/

While kissing their lugs,/

The lecherous liberty-taker.///

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Present perfect

Posted on December 5, 2018 by twitmericks

If gifts for your missus or mister,/

Your mum or dad, brother or sister/

Seem tricky to find/

Then please bear in mind/

A limerick book by Mick Twister.///

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1?ie=UTF8&text=Mick+Twister&search-alias=books&field-author=Mick+Twister&sort=relevancerank

 

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MPs dis May

Posted on December 5, 2018 by twitmericks

Prime Minister May lost a vote,/

Of which she will have to take note,/

On legal advice,/

But having lost thrice,/

Perhaps she should just get her coat.///

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Your name in the front of a book         

Posted on December 3, 2018 by twitmericks

I’ve been doing this for friends for a while, so I thought I’d stick a note here in case anyone is interested. The idea is that you furnish me with some salient details about yourself, or someone you would like to give a copy of one of my books to, and if possible I post you a copy with a bespoke limerick dedication in the front.   

Further details click on BESPOKE LIMERICK SERVICE at the top of the page.                                  

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Double trouble

Posted on December 3, 2018 by twitmericks

Nigeria’s leader denied/

Reports that he recently died:/

‘The rumours are wrong,/

I’m still going strong!’,/

A man who resembled him cried.///

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Man accidentally shoots himself in meat department

Posted on November 30, 2018 by twitmericks

In Wal-Mart, a man packing heat/

Was shopping for something to eat;/

The gun, to his shock/

Went off at half-cock/

And gave him reductions on meat.///

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