Author Archives: twitmericks

Unknown's avatar

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Where there’s muck…

Posted on August 11, 2019 by twitmericks

The man behind Johnson’s campaign/ Hates subsidies, this he makes plain,/ Yet Cummings has trousered/ A few hundred thousand/ From Brussels, despite his disdain./// The man behind Johnson's campaignHates subsidies, this he makes plain, Yet Cummings has trouseredA few hundred … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shit suggestion

Posted on August 11, 2019 by twitmericks

The head of Brazil’s mighty nation/ Who champions deforestation/ Says humans can master/ The threat of disaster/ By one-day-in-two defecation./// The head of Brazil's mighty nationWho champions deforestation Says humans can masterThe threat of disasterBy one-day-in-two defecation.#Bolsonaro #bolsonarohttps://t.co/lmjjW76pf4 — Mick … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rump parliament

Posted on August 9, 2019 by twitmericks

The speaker was forced to suspend/ A parliament Kenyans attend/ By fighting which started/ When one member farted/ (A motion was passed in the end)./// The speaker was forced to suspend A parliament Kenyans attendBy fighting which startedWhen one member … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Fanny Burney

Posted on August 9, 2019 by twitmericks

Though Gwynnie advises that steam/ Will help your vagina to gleam,/ One poor woman learned/ When painfully burned/ It’s not a great wellness regime./// Though Gwynnie advises that steam Will help your vagina to gleam,One poor woman learnedWhen painfully burnedIt's … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Spinal tup

Posted on August 6, 2019 by twitmericks

The German police are aware/ Of noise driving residents spare,/ But say thorough checks/ Revealed, having sex,/ Two hedgehogs – a prickly pair!/// The German police are awareOf noise driving residents spare,But say thorough checksRevealed, having sex,Two hedgehogs – a … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Drawback-free surgery

Posted on August 5, 2019 by twitmericks

An old man went in for an op/ To make his incontinence stop/ But lax supervision/ Around circumcision/ Meant docs gave his foreskin the chop./// An old man went in for an opTo make his incontinence stopBut lax supervisionAround circumcisionMeant … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Providing ammunition

Posted on August 5, 2019 by twitmericks

The racist-in-chief glibly blames/ Mass shootings on video games,/ While using his role/ To block gun control/ And fan white supremacist flames./// https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2019/aug/05/trump-news-today-el-paso-shooting-ohio-media-politics-latest The racist-in-chief glibly blamesMass shootings on video games,While using his roleTo block gun controlAnd fan white supremacist … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Brecon beacon

Posted on August 2, 2019 by twitmericks

The Brecon and Radnorshire vote/ Shows Johnson perhaps should take note/ That peddling whoppers/ And panicking shoppers/ May not float the popular boat./// The Brecon and Radnorshire voteShows Johnson perhaps should take noteThat peddling whoppersAnd panicking shoppersMay not float the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Slumlord billionare

Posted on July 29, 2019 by twitmericks

The race-baiter President Trump/ Calls Baltimore city a dump,/ While slum landlord Jared,/ Whom Trump’s daughter married,/ Claims rent as his properties slump./// The race-baiter President TrumpCalls Baltimore city a dump,While slum landlord Jared,Whom Trump's daughter married,Claims rent as his … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Eton trifles

Posted on July 27, 2019 by twitmericks

I’m pleased, Jacob (very!), to learn/ These phrases that you yourself spurn;/ I ascertain what/ A lot you have got,/ And, note your ongoing concern./// I'm pleased, Jacob (very!), to learnThese phrases that you yourself spurn;I ascertain whatA lot you … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment