Compulsive behaviour

Posted on August 16, 2019 by twitmericks

A driver from Malaga, Spain/

Was kidnapped, he tried to explain,/

And forced on the lash,/

To spend all his cash/

On prostitutes, booze and cocaine.///

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Statue of limitations

Posted on August 14, 2019 by twitmericks

“Oh give me your tired, your poor,/

The wretched of your teeming shore,/

Your great huddled masses,/

And we’ll kick their asses,/

And show ’em”, Trump’s aide said, “the door”.///

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Where there’s muck…

Posted on August 11, 2019 by twitmericks

The man behind Johnson’s campaign/

Hates subsidies, this he makes plain,/

Yet Cummings has trousered/

A few hundred thousand/

From Brussels, despite his disdain.///

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Shit suggestion

Posted on August 11, 2019 by twitmericks

The head of Brazil’s mighty nation/

Who champions deforestation/

Says humans can master/

The threat of disaster/

By one-day-in-two defecation.///

 

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Rump parliament

Posted on August 9, 2019 by twitmericks

The speaker was forced to suspend/

A parliament Kenyans attend/

By fighting which started/

When one member farted/

(A motion was passed in the end).///

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Fanny Burney

Posted on August 9, 2019 by twitmericks

Though Gwynnie advises that steam/

Will help your vagina to gleam,/

One poor woman learned/

When painfully burned/

It’s not a great wellness regime.///

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Spinal tup

Posted on August 6, 2019 by twitmericks

The German police are aware/

Of noise driving residents spare,/

But say thorough checks/

Revealed, having sex,/

Two hedgehogs – a prickly pair!///

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Drawback-free surgery

Posted on August 5, 2019 by twitmericks

An old man went in for an op/

To make his incontinence stop/

But lax supervision/

Around circumcision/

Meant docs gave his foreskin the chop.///

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Providing ammunition

Posted on August 5, 2019 by twitmericks

The racist-in-chief glibly blames/

Mass shootings on video games,/

While using his role/

To block gun control/

And fan white supremacist flames.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2019/aug/05/trump-news-today-el-paso-shooting-ohio-media-politics-latest

 

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Brecon beacon

Posted on August 2, 2019 by twitmericks

The Brecon and Radnorshire vote/

Shows Johnson perhaps should take note/

That peddling whoppers/

And panicking shoppers/

May not float the popular boat.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-49200636

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