Gin & shit

Posted on March 8, 2019 by twitmericks

Next day when you feel overhung,/

Head pounding, with leathery tongue,/

You’ll sit there and think/

Now why did I drink/

That gin made from elephant dung?///

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Vicious cycle

Posted on March 7, 2019 by twitmericks

A club British Cycling decried/

Says members enjoying a ride/

Were treated with scorn/

As Pedallers of Porn/

Were pulled out and just tossed aside.///

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No more gnomes?

Posted on March 7, 2019 by twitmericks

In gardens of Germany’s homes/

Are commonly found garden gnomes,/

But gnome-makers fear/

They may disappear/

As gnomes have no gnome-chromosomes.///

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Blue line

Posted on March 3, 2019 by twitmericks

A South Wales detective named Clare/

Whose sins a tribunal laid bare/

Used language most lewd,/

Was terribly rude,/

And loudly polluted the air.///

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Ferry poor show

Posted on March 1, 2019 by twitmericks

The minister Christopher Grayling/

Found government isn’t plain sailing;/

He racked up a bill/

Of 33 mil/

Through yet more incompetent failing.///

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Nasal nipper

Posted on February 28, 2019 by twitmericks

A man with a tooth up his nose/

Declared: “This unpleasantness shows/

That teeth belong not/

Up there with the snot/

But down in the mouth, in neat rows”.

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Cock rock

Posted on February 28, 2019 by twitmericks

Graffiti inscribed on a block/

Of Hadrian’s Wall-era rock/

Shows right from the start/

The thrust of such art/

Was representations of cock.///

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May delay

Posted on February 26, 2019 by twitmericks

Embattled Prime Minister May,/
Perceiving the ebbing away/
Of both her majority/
And her authority,/
Granted a vote on delay.///

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May poll dance

Posted on February 25, 2019 by twitmericks

May’s plans have few fans to defend ’em/

And if Labour cannot amend ’em/

Now Corbyn decrees/

That Labour MPs/

Should vote for a new referendum.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47363307

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Flight of fancy

Posted on February 23, 2019 by twitmericks

A pilot in southern Australia,/

While testing plane paraphernalia,/

Was moved to record/

The message ‘I’m bored’/

And trace out some male genitalia.///

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