Tag Archives: weird

Thrill Sikas

Posted on December 16, 2017 by twitmericks

A young and frustrated snow monkey/ When feeling a little bit spunky/ Will mount, if one’s near,/ A cute sika deer/ And see if they want to get funky./// A young and frustrated snow monkeyWhen feeling a little bit spunkyWill … Continue reading →

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Blockhead

Posted on December 8, 2017 by twitmericks

A foolhardy YouTubing pranker/ Attracted the Fire Brigade’s rancour/ For anyone shovin’/ His head in an oven/ Filled up with cement is a witless imbecile./// https://news.sky.com/story/youtube-prankster-cements-head-in-microwave-in-wolverhampton-11160640 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/939142453986197504

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Too Smelly for Delhi

Posted on December 1, 2017 by twitmericks

A fellow with fire in his belly,/ Arrested while heading to Delhi,/ Kicked up a big fuss/ When thrown off the bus/ Because of his socks being smelly./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-42192221 A fellow with fire in his belly,Arrested while heading to Delhi,Kicked … Continue reading →

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Massive Cock Up

Posted on November 18, 2017 by twitmericks

The navy expresses its shock/ That one of its pilots, ad hoc,/ Used vapour to draw/ What those below saw/ Was two giant balls and a cock./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/locals-left-red-faced-after-navy-pilot-draws-obscene-phallic-sky-art-above-town-1647757 The navy expresses its shockThat one of its pilots, ad hoc,Used vapour … Continue reading →

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Trouser Snake

Posted on November 9, 2017 by twitmericks

Police found two drunken carousers/ Were covert reptilian-housers,/ A visible writhin’/ Betraying a python/ Secreted down one fellow’s trousers./// https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/08/germany-detained-man-darmstadt-baby-python-pants Police found two drunken carousersWere covert reptilian-housers,A visible writhin'Betraying a pythonSecreted down one fellow's trousers. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November … Continue reading →

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Marrow Escape

Posted on November 3, 2017 by twitmericks

A German man reckoned he saw/ A bomb from the 2nd World War;/ Told: “That’s a courgette”,/ He said: “It could get/ Combustible if consumed raw”./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41857694 A German man reckoned he sawA bomb from the 2nd World War;Told: "That's … Continue reading →

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Piss Off

Posted on October 30, 2017 by twitmericks

A goalie who came from NZ/ To Salford was shown a straight red/ For having a pee;/ “It’s quite clear to me,/ He just had to go”, the ref said./// https://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/peed-off-salford-city-goalkeeper-given-red-card-for-urinating-during-national-league-game-a3670556.html A goalie who came from NZTo Salford was shown … Continue reading →

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‘You Won’t Feel a Thing’

Posted on October 23, 2017 by twitmericks

A man with a very small dick/ Is making the most of his shtick/ By using his penis/ To sell intravenous/ Blood testing as ‘just a small prick’./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/blood-testing-company-hires-man-11368206 A man with a very small dickIs making the most of … Continue reading →

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A Fishy Tale

Posted on October 13, 2017 by twitmericks

One day when out fishing, a bloke/ Tried kissing a fish for a joke/ It jumped in his mouth/ Then swam further south,/ Thus making the idiot choke./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-41598493 One day when out fishing, a blokeTried kissing a fish for … Continue reading →

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The Golden Behind

Posted on September 26, 2017 by twitmericks

  Police caught a smuggler so bold/ Whose arse hid a kilo of gold/ Asked why such a sum/ Was stuffed up his bum/ He answered that’s all it’ll hold./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-41383100 Police found a smuggler so boldWhose arse hid a … Continue reading →

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