Natural Ass

Posted on July 11, 2018 by twitmericks

The POTUS gave Merkel some sass/

Relating to imports of gas;/

In view of discussions/

Trump’s had with the Russians,/

He’s talking again from his ass.///

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The Turd Man

Posted on July 9, 2018 by twitmericks

Big blundering Boris has quit,/
A sign of a deepening split,/
But May, undeterred,/
Will polish the turd,/
As Britain sinks deeper in shit.///

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DEXEU’s Midnight Runner*

Posted on July 9, 2018 by twitmericks

The DEXEU minister Davis/

Has quit, and the reason he gavis/

That May’s plan for Brexit/

Effectively wrexit -/

Just what the thing many folks cravis.///

 

*Headline borrowed from Politico – can’t go wrong with an 80s band reference.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-44761056

 

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Chock full

Posted on July 8, 2018 by twitmericks

A possum adored chocolate spread,/

A dangerous habit which led/

The foolhardy fella/

Pursuing nutella/

To get the jar stuck on his head.///

**This limerick led me to wonder whether chocolate should be treated as two or three syllables. So I crowd-sourced the question, which led to a pretty close victory for two (results with inevitable executive summary in limerick form here: https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1015738089166295041 ).

 

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Gulls’ Night Out

Posted on July 7, 2018 by twitmericks

In Devon and Somerset news,/

Some seagulls are hitting the booze,/

But rescuers think/

A gull high on drink/

Recovers the minute it spews.///

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Chequered Careers

Posted on July 6, 2018 by twitmericks

Holed up in the county of Buckingham/
They tackled disputes without duckingham,/
And broadly agreed/
On how to proceed,/
But as for our prospects, they’re fatally damaging them.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-44747444

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Hard to Credit

Posted on July 5, 2018 by twitmericks

The minister Esther McVey/

Admits that attempting to say/

The office for audits/

Delivered her plaudits/

Was kind of untrue in a way.///

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/jul/04/esther-mcvey-welfare-secretary-misled-parliament-over-reforms-auditors-say

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To Our Very Good Health

Posted on July 5, 2018 by twitmericks

Congrats to the old NHS,/

Underfunded, but nevertheless/

Delivering health/

Regardless of wealth/

For 70 years with success.///

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Stork Talk

Posted on July 3, 2018 by twitmericks

A Sudanese phone user hacked/

A migrating bird being tracked/

And made calls for free,/

From which we can see/

Storks having big bills is a fact.///

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Bubble Trouble

Posted on July 3, 2018 by twitmericks

An out-and-out crisis is near/

As Whitehall wakes up to the fear/

That grips UK business -/

A shortage of fizziness*/

Endangering crumpets and beer.///

My Twitter friend and limerick aficionado @dubbaemm wonders whether ‘fizzness’ might be better, to rhyme with business. I did consider that, but in the end it’s a choice between playing fast and loose with the rhyme or with the correctness of the word, and I went for the former.  

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