Plonker Plonks Plonker in Plonk

Posted on August 6, 2013 by twitmericks
The member for Redlands, Australia/
Sent photos of his genitalia/
Plonked in red wine/
To his concubine/
A rare feat of true bacchanalia.
 
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Fresh Meat

Posted on August 5, 2013 by twitmericks
A burger produced in a lab/
Was judged to be OK, if drab./
It’s OK to eat/
And quite close to meat,/
Like what’s in a doner kebab.
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Who Runs Iran?

Posted on August 4, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old man named Hassan/

Who took over running Iran/

He wants to make friends/

But that all depends/

On whether Hassan’s his own man.

///http://www.aljazeera.com/video/middleeast/2013/08/2013843428202796.html

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/364011682848186368

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Polls Apart

Posted on August 2, 2013 by twitmericks

A chap named Mugabe from Zim/
Said everyone voted for him/
But Tsvangirai reckoned/
The old man came second/
So now things could get a bit grim.

///http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/08/02/uk-zimbabwe-election-idUKBRE9710R020130802

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A Member of the Royal Family

Posted on August 2, 2013 by twitmericks

The BBC said to the Palace/

That airing a shot of a phallus/

On Prince William’s forehead/

Was silly & horrid/

But didn’t intend to show malice.

///http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/bbc-apologises-for-broadcasting-picture-of-prince-william-with-penis-drawn-on-his-head-8742180.html

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/363221092405477376

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Heigh-ho Silvio

Posted on August 2, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Milan,/

Too old to do time in the can./

Convicted of fraud/

The lecherous bawd/

Awaits a political ban.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23542525

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/363213239489802240

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No Offence

Posted on July 31, 2013 by twitmericks
Stewards patrolling the Kop
Were given some words they must stop.
Liverpool fans
May get lengthy bans
But will the big stars face the chop?
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Lord Howell of Outrage

Posted on July 30, 2013 by twitmericks

A high-up Conservative peer/

Dismissed the Northeast with a sneer:/

“Entirely lacking/

Requiring fracking”/

Lord Howell declared, from his rear.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-23510479

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/362301906825121792

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Papa Don’t Preach

Posted on July 29, 2013 by twitmericks
The Pope says it may be OK/
For Catholic priests to be gay/
If it’s just a hobby/
Not part of a lobby/
And they’re seeking God in some way.
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Troll Patrol

Posted on July 28, 2013 by twitmericks
The bosses at Twitter HQ
Got into a bit of a stew
About who patrols
Misogynist trolls.
They’ve ordered an urgent review.
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