Hard worker

A French firm was ordered to pay/

When one of its staff passed away,/

For Xavier X/

Who died during sex,/

Pegged out on the job, judges say.///

My fellow Twitter limericker from France, @GuillaumeCingal, replied to this post with a rather fine response, which he has kindly permitted me to add to the post here.
Après le décès de Xavier, /
Son patron doit raquer, et sans tergiverser./
Ainsi le veut la loi française :/
La mission pro inclut la baise ;/
Petite ou grande mort, tout sera remboursé.
The scansion is a little loose, but the wordplay in the punchline is rather more satisfying than mine – ‘petite morte’ means orgasm, so the last line roughly translates as ‘Orgasm or death, they’ll pay out on both’.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Prorogue Mahone Again

A court found proroguing to stimey,/

As Johnson has done, rather grimy -/

It’s very unlawful/

And also quite awful,/

Misleading the number one limey.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hawkward squad

The White House advisor John Bolton,/

Who liked it so hot it was molten,/

Fell out with the chief,/

A source of relief/

To countries he urged an assault on.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Ruddy Shocking

Poor gullible dupe Amber Rudd/

Is shocked to find Johnson a dudd/

Whose actions reveal/

His talk of a deal/

Is just a big mountain of crudd.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Swot is he on about?

Old Boris, who says ‘girly swot’,/

And similar jolly old rot,/

Who reeks of misogyny/

And can’t count his progeny,/

Continues to win diddly-squat.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

See ya later, ex-dictator

Old Robert Mugabe of Zim/

Saw life there get ever more grim,/

One-time liberator/

Turned ageing dictator,/

Deposed once the problem was him.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Go Fish

A DNA study reveals/

No sharks, sturgeon, lizards or seals/

Alive in Loch Ness -/

The monster, they guess,/

Is probably oversized eels.///

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lying Tory

As Boris’s plan went Pete Tong,/

Alone in the Westminster throng,/

House leader incumbent/

Rees-Mogg lay recumbent/

And dreamed of his mother’s chaise longue.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Johnson Floored

A Tory MP crossed the floor/

To join the Lib Dems, and therefore/

The PM’s majority/

And thus what authority/

He had up to now is no more.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Coup de Twat

If Johnson’s No Deal is rejected/

The outcome might not be respected,/

Suggests Michael Gove,/

Whose leader, by Jove,/

Is not even bloody elected!///

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment