Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

EU disrespecting me?

Posted on September 23, 2018 by twitmericks

A government failing at Brexit/ Complains the EU disrepexit,/ Creating affront,/ Says Jeremy Hunt,/ By posting cake pix just to vexit./// A government failing at BrexitComplains the EU disrepexit,Creating affront,Says Jeremy Hunt,By posting cake pix just to vexit.#Brexit#TheresaMay#cake#ChequersPlan#Salzburg — Mick … Continue reading →

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A house divided

Posted on September 22, 2018 by twitmericks

There is a right-winger named Paul/ Whose siblings don’t rate him at all/ Six brothers and sisters/ Have joined the resisters/ To work for the Congressman’s fall./// (I tweaked the second line from the tweeted version, on reflection, but either … Continue reading →

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Dis-Mayed

Posted on September 21, 2018 by twitmericks

Theresa said countries like France/ Have not given Britain a chance:/ By dumping on Chequers/ Those Eurocrat wreckers/ Have led her a merry old dance!/// Theresa said countries like FranceHave not given Britain a chance:By dumping on Chequers Those Eurocrat … Continue reading →

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Pottted lobster

Posted on September 21, 2018 by twitmericks

A lobster place over in Maine/ Maintains it’s humane when they’re slain/ To dope each crustacean/ With weed-based sedation,/ Thus dulling its brain to the pain./// A lobster place over in MaineMaintains it's humane when they're slainTo dope each crustaceanWith … Continue reading →

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Steaming Cleaner

Posted on September 20, 2018 by twitmericks

Some Indian nationalists who/ Extol what cow products can do/ Make soap from the faeces/ Of this sacred species,/ Thus putting the poo in shampoo./// Some Indian nationalists whoExtol what cow products can doMake soap from the faecesOf this sacred … Continue reading →

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Jumbo-sized blunder

Posted on September 20, 2018 by twitmericks

An airline whose spelling’s horrific/ Messed up, or to be more specific/ Contrived to forget a/ Significant letter/ Which means there’s no effin’ Pacific!/// An airline whose spelling's horrificMessed up, or to be more specificContrived to forget aSignificant letterWhich means … Continue reading →

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Sesame-sex relationship?

Posted on September 19, 2018 by twitmericks

The Sesame Workshop contends,/ Wherever the evidence tends,/ Though Saltzman would write ’em/ As kind of an item,/ That Ernie and Bert are just friends./// The Sesame Workshop contends,However the evidence tends,Though Saltzman would write 'emAs kind of an item,That … Continue reading →

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Toad’s tool

Posted on September 18, 2018 by twitmericks

A porn star once dear to Trump’s heart/ Described his most intimate part/ As less than humungous/ And shaped like a fungus,/ Like Toad out of Mario Kart./// A porn star once dear to Trump's heartDescribed his most intimate partAs … Continue reading →

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Vince fails to pull it off

Posted on September 18, 2018 by twitmericks

The speech said ‘erotic’ and ‘spasm’,/ But Vince in his enthusiasm/ Got nervous and slipped,/ And mangling the script,/ Cocked up his linguistic orgasm./// The speech said 'erotic' and 'spasm',But Vince in his enthusiasmGot nervous and slipped,And mangling the script,Cocked … Continue reading →

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Sex on fire

Posted on September 17, 2018 by twitmericks

In Grimsby, a man seized by ire/ Who set loads of dildos on fire/ Outside his love’s door/ Was jailed, and what’s more,/ Could not reignite her desire./// In Grimsby, a man seized by ireWho set loads of dildos on … Continue reading →

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