Having a Whale of a Time

Posted on July 31, 2018 by twitmericks

A hybrid between two cetaceans/

With misleading classifications/

Shows females and males/

Of dolphins-cum-whales/

Enjoy inter-species relations.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Chinese Burn

Posted on July 30, 2018 by twitmericks

In China, old Jeremy Hunt/
Went out of his way to affront:/
‘My wife’s Japanese – /
I mean she’s Chinese”./
Declared the incompetent Cabinet Minister.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Brexshit Fears

Posted on July 30, 2018 by twitmericks

There may be no food on the shelves/
Unless every Brit digs and delves,/
But May won’t reveal/
Her plan for No Deal/
For fear of us shitting ourselves.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Full Monty Python

Posted on July 28, 2018 by twitmericks

A woman was jolted awake/

To find herself next to a snake./

‘Relax’, the snake hissed,/

‘We’re both a bit pissed -/

Let’s call it a drunken mistake’.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Die Another Day

Posted on July 27, 2018 by twitmericks

Two worms frozen deep in the ice,/

Thawed out and revived in a trice,/

Came in from the cold,/

Millennia old -/

They know that You Only Live Twice.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

More Trumpery

Posted on July 27, 2018 by twitmericks

An ex-Trump attorney named Cohen/
Denies Donald’s claims of not knowin/’
Of campaign discussions/
With prominent Russians;/
Trump’s nose, like the scandal, keeps growin’.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lady Garden Privet Parts Abused

Posted on July 26, 2018 by twitmericks

A bush-trimmer spoke to allege/

Drunk fellows have sex with his hedge,/

Invading the privet/

In order to give it/

A shag with their meat and two veg.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Shareability Slump

Posted on July 26, 2018 by twitmericks

A series of privacy scares/

Hit Facebook’s financial affairs/

As data misuse/

Is apt to reduce/

The likes FB gets for its shares.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

End of the line

Posted on July 24, 2018 by twitmericks

The clothing firm run by Ivanka,/

Whose profits weren’t pleasing her banker,/

Is facing the chop/

As people won’t shop/

From someone whose dad’s such a woeful president.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Don’t Shoot!

Posted on July 23, 2018 by twitmericks

The government, put on the spot/

Has had to explain it is not/

In favour of babies/

Suspected of rabies/

In actual fact being shot.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment