Tag Archives: drugs

Compulsive behaviour

Posted on August 16, 2019 by twitmericks

A driver from Malaga, Spain/ Was kidnapped, he tried to explain,/ And forced on the lash,/ To spend all his cash/ On prostitutes, booze and cocaine./// A driver from Malaga, SpainWas kidnapped, he tried to explain,And forced on the lash,To … Continue reading →

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Party line

Posted on June 9, 2019 by twitmericks

Though Gove snorted coke, so he said,/ When youthful and badly misled,/ It may be the case/ To run in this race/ It helps to be out of your head./// Though Gove snorted coke, so he said,When youthful and badly … Continue reading →

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High School

Posted on April 17, 2019 by twitmericks

A chemistry prof, Japanese, Whose students learnt how to make Es/ Is under arrest By cops unimpressed With MD-MA joint degrees./// A chemistry prof, Japanese.Whose students learnt how to make EsIs under arrestBy cops unimpressedWith MD-MA joint degrees.https://t.co/C65VOmY9mL — Mick … Continue reading →

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This is real good shit, man!

Posted on April 5, 2019 by twitmericks

Some Spanish researchers submit/ That though it may give you a hit,/ Because hashish passes/ Through drug smugglers’ arses*/ Most tokers smoke actual shit./   *or asses if that rhymes better for you   Some Spanish researchers submitThat though it … Continue reading →

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Sorted for Es and wizards

Posted on February 15, 2019 by twitmericks

A famous boy wizard named Potter/ Turns out to be rather a rotter,/ Who secretly smuggles/ Narcotics to muggles,/ His books serving well as a blotter./// A famous boy wizard named PotterTurns out to be rather a rotter,Who secretly smugglesNarcotics … Continue reading →

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Pulpo fiction

Posted on February 7, 2019 by twitmericks

A driver whose conduct was odd/ Was nicked by the South Devon plod,/ Who judged he was smashed/ On hearing he crashed/ To miss a large cephalopod./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1093472175024164866

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No Shit?!

Posted on March 8, 2018 by twitmericks

A record in anal retention/ Was set by a man in detention/ Whose bowels wouldn’t move,/ So cops couldn’t prove/ Suspected drugs law contravention./// Brixton drug suspect smashes the record for refusing to poo in custody after an astonishing 47 … Continue reading →

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Going Through the Motions

Posted on August 6, 2017 by twitmericks

A dealer who swallowed his wraps/ Held out for 12 days with no craps,/ Surrounded by cops/ Awaiting the plops/ That marked his eventual lapse./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/essex-drug-dealers-excruciating-12-day-toilet-strike-after-swallowing-his-drugs-1633672  

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Dogs Turn Up Noses at Drugs

Posted on April 14, 2016 by twitmericks

In Manchester, dogs trained to sniff/ For contraband cocaine and spliff/ Were able to find/ Some old bacon rind/ And camembert starting to whiff./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36041316 In Manchester, dogs trained to sniffFor contraband cocaine and spliffWere able to findAn old bacon rindAnd … Continue reading →

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Party Line

Posted on March 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A County Down priest is reported/ Last year to have gaily cavorted/ With Nazi regalia/ In wild bacchanalia/ Where coke was apparently snorted./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-35688401 A County Down priest is reportedLast year to have gaily cavortedWith Nazi regaliaIn wild bacchanaliaWhere coke … Continue reading →

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