Tag Archives: weird

Airport Abuzz

Posted on August 11, 2018 by twitmericks

The luggage for one man’s vacation/ Caused problems for air transportation/ When scan operators/ Picked up his vibrators,/ Resulting in mass perturbation./// The luggage for one man's vacationCaused problems for air transportationWhen scan operatorsPicked up his vibrators,Resulting in mass perturbation.https://t.co/LIcTEwDMYM … Continue reading →

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Cheesy Crime

Posted on August 9, 2018 by twitmericks

A thief who was sentenced to fester/ Made one mistake, said his arrester:/ What gave him away/ Was some DNA/ He left on a lump of red Leicester./// A thief who was sentenced to festerMade one mistake, said his arrester:What … Continue reading →

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Full Monty Python

Posted on July 28, 2018 by twitmericks

A woman was jolted awake/ To find herself next to a snake./ ‘Relax’, the snake hissed,/ ‘We’re both a bit pissed -/ Let’s call it a drunken mistake’./// A woman was jolted awakeTo find herself next to a snake.'Relax', the … Continue reading →

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Lady Garden Privet Parts Abused

Posted on July 26, 2018 by twitmericks

A bush-trimmer spoke to allege/ Drunk fellows have sex with his hedge,/ Invading the privet/ In order to give it/ A shag with their meat and two veg./// A bush-trimmer spoke to allegeDrunk fellows have sex with his hedge,Invading the … Continue reading →

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Is this the way to Nantucket?

Posted on July 20, 2018 by twitmericks

Said Norfolk police, “What’s this here?/ This car is illegal, I fear”./ The driver said “Fuck it -/ What’s wrong with a bucket/ To sit on and pliers to steer?”/// Said Norfolk police, "What's this here?This car is illegal, I … Continue reading →

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Virgin Olive Oil

Posted on July 20, 2018 by twitmericks

New Mexico folks are convergin’/ To witness the oil that is surgin’/ From Mary’s bronze figure,/ Which scholars of rigour/ Declare to be Pure Extra Virgin./// New Mexico folks are convergin'To witness the oil that is surgin'From Mary's bronze figure,Which … Continue reading →

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Pig Tail

Posted on May 22, 2018 by twitmericks

A man who was tailed by a porker/ Called cops in to deal with the stalker;/ The hog said: “You rotters,/ Don’t handcuff my trotters -/ He’s just an unsociable walker!”/// A man who was tailed by a porkerCalled cops … Continue reading →

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Dying for a Shag

Posted on May 17, 2018 by twitmericks

Oh pity the poor antechinus,/ The cause of whose rapid decline is/ That sex for the guys/ Provokes their demise -/ Survival-wise, rather a minus./// Oh pity the poor antechinus,The cause of whose rapid decline isThat sex for the guysProvokes … Continue reading →

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Public Enemy Number Two

Posted on May 4, 2018 by twitmericks

A Jersey inspector of schools/ Arrested for flouting the rules/ Was baring his backside/ Each day by the trackside/ And slyly depositing stools./// A Jersey inspector of schoolsArrested for flouting the rulesWas baring his backsideEach day by the tracksideAnd slyly … Continue reading →

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Underground Undies

Posted on April 18, 2018 by twitmericks

A water firm’s named a wrongdoer/ And roped in the press to pursue ‘er,/ So Come on Eileen,/ It’s time to come clean/ Did you flush your pants down the sewer?/// A water firm's named a wrongdoerAnd roped in the … Continue reading →

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