Monthly Archives: July 2018

Upper Case for Treatment

Posted on July 23, 2018 by twitmericks

The Potus suggests that perhaps/ Rouhani should stop picking scraps,/ Not rouse U.S. ire,/ Or else he will fire/ MORE TWEETS THAT ARE WRITTEN IN CAPS!/// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44919772

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Is this the way to Nantucket?

Posted on July 20, 2018 by twitmericks

Said Norfolk police, “What’s this here?/ This car is illegal, I fear”./ The driver said “Fuck it -/ What’s wrong with a bucket/ To sit on and pliers to steer?”/// Said Norfolk police, "What's this here?This car is illegal, I … Continue reading →

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Virgin Olive Oil

Posted on July 20, 2018 by twitmericks

New Mexico folks are convergin’/ To witness the oil that is surgin’/ From Mary’s bronze figure,/ Which scholars of rigour/ Declare to be Pure Extra Virgin./// New Mexico folks are convergin'To witness the oil that is surgin'From Mary's bronze figure,Which … Continue reading →

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Dishonourable Members

Posted on July 19, 2018 by twitmericks

Old Julian Smith, the Chief Whip,/ Whose party is losing its grip,/ Instructed the Chair/ To break with his pair/ Then brushed it all off as a slip./// Old Julian Smith, the Chief Whip,Whose party is losing its grip,Instructed the … Continue reading →

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Retreat from Moscow

Posted on July 17, 2018 by twitmericks

A small-handed Russophile bloke/ Declared that he kinda misspoke,/ And meant to say ‘wouldn’t’,/ A story that shouldn’t/ Convince many rational folk./// A small-handed Russophile blokeDeclared that he kinda misspoke,And meant to say 'wouldn't',A story that shouldn'tConvince many rational folk.https://t.co/9Hx0AvoOaC#TrumpPutin … Continue reading →

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Member Exposed

Posted on July 17, 2018 by twitmericks

There is an old member for Burton/ Whom tabloids have published some dirt on -/ He sent the odd sext/ That made women vexed,/ And left his position uncertain./// There is an old member for BurtonWhom tabloids have published some … Continue reading →

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Final Reckoning

Posted on July 16, 2018 by twitmericks

To mark the end of Russia 29018, here are three World Cup Final limericks for you: “It’s all gone without any hitch”,/ Declared Vlad Vladimirovich,/ But then Pussy Riot/ Disrupted the quiet/ Invading the Cup Final pitch./// *** Among the … Continue reading →

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William the Plonkerer

Posted on July 15, 2018 by twitmericks

A tapestry telling through pix/ What happened in 1066/ Shows men and their mounts,/ An Oxford don counts,/ With 93 needlework pricks./// A tapestry telling through pixWhat happened in 1066Shows men and their mounts,An Oxford don counts,With 93 needlework pricks.https://t.co/3GVjmmPvzz … Continue reading →

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Flying Visit

Posted on July 13, 2018 by twitmericks

There is a big empty balloon/ That looks like a total buffoon;/ With bright yellow hair,/ Chock full of hot air,/ And so is his airborne lampoon./// https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-politics-44820849/trump-baby-blimp-launched-in-london There is a big empty balloonThat looks like a total buffoon;With bright … Continue reading →

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Frozen Meal

Posted on July 12, 2018 by twitmericks

Researchers who looked in the tummy/ Of Ötzi the old Alpine mummy/ Found goat fat inside/ Which one of them tried/ And found unbelievably crummy./// Researchers who looked in the tummyOf Ötzi the old Alpine mummyFound goat fat insideWhich one … Continue reading →

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