Those Brexit Blues

Posted on December 22, 2017 by twitmericks

When Britain has left the EU/

Our passports once more will be blue;/

As blue as the holder,/

Abandoned to moulder/

For hours in a non-EU queue.///

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Blue Green

Posted on December 21, 2017 by twitmericks

The minister Damien Green/

Is now just another has-been/

Although he poured scorn/

On claims he watched porn/

His downloads were seen as obscene.///

***

Dave Davis, who loudly averred/

He’d quit if the sacking occurred/

Of Damian Green/

Did not of course mean/

In practice to stand by his word.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Errors of Judgement

Posted on December 19, 2017 by twitmericks

Matt Petersen chose to withdraw/

When pretty much everyone saw/

Trump’s choice as a judge/

Unable to fudge/

The fact he knows zilch about law.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Thrill Sikas

Posted on December 16, 2017 by twitmericks

A young and frustrated snow monkey/

When feeling a little bit spunky/

Will mount, if one’s near,/

A cute sika deer/

And see if they want to get funky.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Mouse that Roared

Posted on December 14, 2017 by twitmericks

Old Murdoch is selling off stocks/
And so opportunity knocks./
A chunk of his business/
Will now be Walt Disney’s/
The mouse having swallowed the fox.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-42353545

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Please No Moore

Posted on December 13, 2017 by twitmericks

Electors considered Roy Moore/

And voted to show him the door;/

For President Trump,/

His pal on the stump,/

This signifies trouble in store.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-42333712

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Fly him to the Moon

Posted on December 12, 2017 by twitmericks

There was an old orange-faced loon/

Who wanted to go to the moon./

“Enjoy your big ride”,/

The people replied – /

“It can’t come a moment too soon!”///

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-space/trump-wants-to-send-u-s-astronauts-back-to-moon-someday-mars-idUSKBN1E51QP

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Getting Lairy with Dairy

Posted on December 11, 2017 by twitmericks

Two versions for this limerick:

My first effort went:

Mourinho was letting off steam/

At members of Man City’s team/

When one of that ilk/

Threw semi-skimmed milk/

At one used to coaching the cream.///

Then I remembered a rather apposite anagram* – perhaps it wasn’t milk after all?

Mourinho was letting off steam/

At members of Man City’s team/

When one of that ilk/

Threw semi-skimmed milk/

Or possibly synthetic cream.///

*Synthetic cream=Manchester City.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/42306141

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Earth Mover

Posted on December 10, 2017 by twitmericks

A recent explosion from Kim/

Has altered the world’s outer rim/

The man from Pyongyang/

Said this was a bang/

That sure made the earth move for him.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Gin Sling

Posted on December 9, 2017 by twitmericks

While holding a drink, young Ben Duckett/

Unwisely decided to chuckett/

He said though I should/

Take care and be good/

I’ve had a few pints now, so Fuckett.///

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/dec/09/england-ben-duckett-dropped-ashes-tour-game-after-perth-bar-incident

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment